Do well.

Two days ago, on January 27th, my sister had her 19th birthday. It was a Sunday, and my family went out for lunch with my grandparents. We ate Thai food, laughed, and forgot the issues of the previous week. At least they did. I am sad. I am very sad, and I feel lonely even though I know that I am surrounded by people that love me. My grandmother senses that in me. Even if I try to pretend that she doesn't, I will always be wrong. I can smile, laugh, and speak from the most fake, deceitful corner of my heart and she can always tell whats really there. She says it's my eyes. I say it's wisdom. She has 72 years of it, while I have only 15. So I put on a show, like I've been doing for the past few weeks. I looked at my grandmother, and her green eyes told me she wasn't fooled. So I continued eating my favorite dish in the entire world (yellow curry with mixed Thai vegetables and white rice) even though it felt like a chore. My Grandma Jane has this way about her that makes me feel like a small child, and not in a bad way. I can cry for hours with her and all I never feel ashamed. When we were leaving the restaurant, my grandparents had to begin their drive back to their home town. My grandpa gave me a rough, tight squeeze, as grandfathers often do, and as I turned to my grandmother, I felt hot tears sting my eyes. She said nothing aloud. Her eyes said it all. She held me tight and whispered in my ear, "Do well." I knew what she meant as soon as the words left her mouth. She did not mean in school. She did not mean in sports, or anything like that. She meant in my heart. Grandma Jane is the strongest, most beautiful, inspirational woman I know, (aside from my own mother) and she can say millions of things in only two words.